Morning Rant

Fall is almost here, and I'm starting to get a little anxious... having my hubby at home during the summer is a wonderful thing, and I recognize how lucky I am - but at the same time, it's a double-edged sword.

With Jason away from the house more and more as he prepares for his new school year, I'm being subjected to the constant litany of 'We want DADDY!' and 'We don't want YOU' and 'Daddy's nicer!' and 'Daddy lets me'. I'm trying not to take it personally, but WTF? What am I, chopped liver???

One of my main intentions coming home from both my Mama's and the Couple's retreat was to BE PRESENT. For my husband, for my kids, for myself... but what about real life? With kids that no longer nap (damn you, KEIRA!!) I'm finding the new struggle of juggling quality time with the girls and finding time for housework and business admin almost insurmountable. There are always housekeepers and babysitters, but you need MONEY for those things and I need to be sure the money is there before I spend it!

I'm not trying to beat myself up, but my husband is much better at being present when he's with the girls and I'm working. But that's also because he doesn't feel same pressure I put on myself for a clean house or foodie dinners, nor does he have a business to attend to do during most of the summer. I'm not trying to give him a bum rap - he pulls his weight around the house and the workload is distributed fairly evenly. For some reason, he fits it in better than me. Frustrating, no?

I'm trying to be creative. This morning the girls were 'helping' me clean the bathroom. Things quickly devolved into a screaming match over the toilet brush, and I have to admit that I was one of the three screamers! I've tried to sneak some admin time in here and there, but my impatient two-year-old will slam the lid of my laptop down on my fingers in protest. Either that or type gobbledy-gook into something I am working on. Recently a colleague's FB status reflected her frustration with her kid pulling the keys off her keyboard to stop her from getting a bit of work done, and I could completely relate.

While I've been typing this post, we've had two timeouts over the proper sharing etiquette of My Little Ponies. I feel partially responsible because I am blogging and not practicing very good presence! But DAMN, it's been a frustrating day and it's only 11:40am.

In any case, just needed to rant. Either that or scream into a pillow. I find this release slightly more effective! Thanks for listening :)